No, I'm not pregnant.
This is a PSA for all of my friends who are pregnant, want to be pregnant, will be pregnant at some point in the future, have been pregnant and now have little bundles of [joy/squalling angst/dirty diapers/etc].
I have said in the past that my objection to my friends getting pregnant is that I stop being able to have conversations with them. Where we once talked about literature, film, obscure corners of religious studies, feminism in primarily islamic countries, or our other friends, all conversations start to revolve around babies. And nothing but babies. And all attempts to change the subject to something we used to find interesting turn to babies.
I don't like children. On a good day, I sort of tolerate them, and usually I find child rearing fascinating from a purely intellectual perspective.
This doesn't mean that I never want to hear about your pregnancy/children/seamonkeys. You are my friend. I want to know what is happening in your life. I want to ask you questions about what it's like, how you feel, your opinions on how to raise children, whether you've read some obscure book on parenting and whether you feel that author is completely on crack and/or has never actually had children.
I also want to send you links to articles and blogs that I've read about childhood development, the nature of fear and why we feel it and how parents instill it into their children, and whether listening to Mozart will stimulate random parts of your child's brain and make them 76% less likely to become a serial killer than children who listen to death metal. I want to give you random children's books that I find that look really interesting/weird/just plain crazy, and I will occasionally wish to poke your baby and make them smile/cry/look at me like 'who the hell is the person?'
But I also still want to have those conversations about the development of architecture during the renaissance and whether we think so-and-so is crazy for dating whats-his-noodle and whether we should stage an intervention.