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A Lady's Journal
Musings of Improvement
RIP: Felix Clarence James, Jr. 
29th-Apr-2009 08:49 am
Painted Redhead
My dad died. My mom sent me an email last night that I didn't receive until this morning. He's been living in Massachusetts with his sister and had a massive coronary. According to my mom, he died in seconds and didn't suffer. I guess that's good to know.

A few years ago, I said goodbye to my dad. It was right before he moved, and when we hugged for that last time, it had an air of finality to it. He didn't call me afterwards and I didn't call him. Somehow, I knew that was the last time. I remember standing in his kitchen and we talked and reminisced like we always used to. He told me the stories that I'd heard a million times and still loved.

Anyone who has seen my dad and me together knows that I'm my father's daughter. I look like his side of the family more than anyone else. I have his sense of humor, which is dry in the extreme, and his way of dealing with people and I roll my eyes the same way he did. I was always his little girl, even when we didn't talk. It was the knowledge that we loved each other.

He believed in reincarnation, but that if he had a choice, he wouldn't want to come back for a long time. He believed that he had been around this ball for so long that his soul needed a rest. He wasn't a great man, and in some ways, probably wasn't a very good one. But he loved me and helped me and taught me and protected me. He was my daddy and I'm going to miss him.
Comments 
29th-Apr-2009 04:06 pm (UTC)
My condolences, lady.
29th-Apr-2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, darlin' I am so sorry to learn about your beloved father. There is nothing I can say to make this easier for you. From experience, I know it will be painful to go through. Talk to your friends you hold most dear.
29th-Apr-2009 04:12 pm (UTC)
My Condolences, I will recite the Rosary for him and you.
29th-Apr-2009 04:13 pm (UTC)
Oh my love, I am so sad for you. If you need anything at all, let us know.

Whatever, Whenever, Forever,
M.
29th-Apr-2009 04:16 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
Because that's what I have to offer.
29th-Apr-2009 04:41 pm (UTC)
Best wishes to you Roo. If there's anything you need, just ask.
29th-Apr-2009 05:12 pm (UTC)
I feel for you. I lost my dad when I was 27 -- isn't' that about your age? It was hard - and I do still miss him very much. Take care.
29th-Apr-2009 05:57 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. *hugs*
29th-Apr-2009 06:33 pm (UTC)
*hugs* and *love* for you. I am so sorry...

~M
29th-Apr-2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
All my love to you...
29th-Apr-2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Im sorry. Hugs, my ear, and my shoulder are all available if ya need/want.

Im truly sorry darlin.
29th-Apr-2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
You have my empathy and my love, sweetheart.
30th-Apr-2009 01:07 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. I always wish there was something to make it better...Just know I'm sending love and hugs to you.
30th-Apr-2009 01:46 am (UTC)
*hugs* And next time I see you there will be real hugs to follow, which will be much softer. Unlike the harshness of asterisk hugs.
30th-Apr-2009 02:28 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry.
30th-Apr-2009 04:34 am (UTC)
My condolences for your loss.
30th-Apr-2009 05:12 am (UTC)
Condolences, hugs and love from Rick and me.
30th-Apr-2009 06:50 am (UTC)
You have my love and thoughts. If you need anything at all, just let me know.
30th-Apr-2009 02:18 pm (UTC)
*enfolding hugs* sweetie. Hope you come through this okay.
30th-Apr-2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
My heart and thoughts go out to you, Roo. *hugs*

- J
1st-May-2009 09:18 am (UTC)
Anonymous
my Dad passed a few years ago.

*hugs*
1st-May-2009 07:15 pm (UTC)
I'm very sorry for your loss.

3rd-May-2009 07:38 am (UTC)
Wow. I'm so sorry...
25th-Apr-2010 07:15 am (UTC) - rip daddy
yea he is dead. i had just moved back to ca. got a job at wal mart. realized that i was repeating history. decided to call him to tell him everything was good. "the lie" and that i got a job and that i was going to be fine. "the truth" of course we both knew that already. so i dialed the number and got no answer and no answering machine. so i called linda, she said "no his answering machine is fine. he's dead. "oh" says i. after that i dont remenber exactly what i said and then hung up. i wasn't sure it was true i thought that maybe he was playing a dirty trick on me. but at the same time thought that he hated shopping and in the parking lot outside the grocery store he decided that he was done. so it made sense. i have handled this death better than when mommy died.
26th-Apr-2010 01:37 am (UTC) - rip felix
mommy was already dead. unless my sister is dead also, and or she is receiving messages from the other side.
ashtoreth was born in may so maybe you know a 43 yr old lady who was born on aug 6th 1966. anyhow whoever you are keep on breathing happy aire.
26th-Apr-2010 06:36 pm (UTC) - Re: rip felix
I'm his youngest daughter, Rosemary. I'd be your half-sister.
26th-Apr-2010 08:54 pm (UTC) - Re: rip felix
yes now i get it, i apologize i had forgotten about you rosemary i don't believe we've ever met.and i would be tomfred, your half brother. thank you for helping with my confusion. omg i feel like an ass.
26th-Apr-2010 09:26 pm (UTC) - Re: rip felix
It is what it is. Familial communication doesn't seem to be anyone's strong suit.
26th-Apr-2010 10:02 pm (UTC) - Re: rip felix
i remenber visiting our dad in sacramento in 2006 approx. for about three weeks and we could both hear the neighbors from upstairs and next door. i could hear him muttering to himself "god i hate people" i don't think he actually hated people. i think he didn't like to deal with emotions. i believe he and i both prefer communication on a more cerebral level, but it's not just that. some things "deeper feelings" are just understood without vocalization. when my dad and i talked and were having fun too it was because we were making up tall tales. keep breathing tomfred
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